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January

by Oxford

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1.
Head and Shoulders 02:57
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I woke up sweating needing drugs in my veins I’d do anything at all to feel unstoppable again Because my skin is getting paler And my nails are getting longer And I haven’t washed my face in a week or two It’s not for lack of trying It’s just my reflection makes me sick It’s not for lack of trying Why is water so goddamn judgmental anyway? I need a new me A true me A fucking black and blue me To skin alive and wear as camouflage Maybe the frost on my windshield Is the one interruption A lack of reflection is all I need So I can cover my self in patches Who will I be this time?
2.
Justyna Made Paper Dolls 02:12
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Three books no answers A sense of contempt at the corner of my mouth Faked smiles all deceived by The lack of wrinkles in my eyes I’m a liar But I’m the best at it I’m a liar Self-preservation It’s degradation And I am nothing But I am all the lies I’ve told So I am everything But everything’s intangible And I’m discovering that I lack a core of personality Shaking cowering and realizing there’s no true me I erased him Now there’s not a smudge I erased him till the paper wore away

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released January 3, 2014

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Oxford Hartford, Connecticut

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